A Special School for a Special Girl

When I decided to become a mom there were many things I worried about (my daughter's health, paying for college, raising a child on my own, removing Janan from her birth country and culture, etc.) but one thing I didn't worry about was grade school.

I grew up attending public schools (many of them, as a matter of fact, since we moved so frequently). Since I was one of those kids who cared only about pleasing everyone, I did relatively well, followed the rules and NEVER questioned authority figures. My daughter is a different story all together.

When Janan taught herself to read at 2 and already knew all her colors, numbers (could count to 10 in both English and Spanish) and shapes, I had many friends and family telling me kindergarten might be 'tough' because it would be so easy and bore her. I really didn't worry. I figured she would have so much fun playing with other kids and that she'd get challenged in grade school (kindergarten is more about fun anyway, right?)

But, as many of you know, Janan didn't stop 'excelling' at two. Like so many people in our society, I just thought "That means school will be easy for her!" Truthfully, it's not like that. For the most part, our public school systems require students to sit at a desk, listen to a lecture, follow a pre-set pace on all subjects and, still, never question authority. Children like Janan DON'T and CAN'T learn in that environment. Janan questions EVERYTHING and just because you're older than she is, doesn't mean you have all the answers.

Just like parents with children on the other end of the 'special needs' spectrum, I have to fight for my daughter's eduction. When we moved to MI, eleven (yes, 11) public schools told me to my face "We don't have services for your daughter." and made it clear she wasn't welcome in their school. At first I was SO angry! I pay taxes that support these schools! How DARE they turn away my child! She's not a pyromanic, aggressive, 'difficult to handle' or unwilling to learn. She's HIGHLY social, very inquisitive and CRAVES learning!

Yes, my daughter is GIFTED (highly gifted as a matter of fact). I fought labeling her for years and even after accepting the label, I was hesitant to use it in public. People think you're 'bragging' when you say you have a child who is gifted. That in some way you're trying to say your child is 'better' than theirs. But, I've now come to learn that just like parents who have to be able to say (without shame and fear of retribution) that their children are developmentally disabled, I have to be able to say my daughter is 'gifted' and that her special needs (and there ARE special needs) are different, but no less important than the children with needs on the other end of the spectrum.

ALL children have the right to learn and to learn to their FULL capacity. Janan doesn't find public school learning 'easier', she finds it frustrating. How many of us like to be talked down to? How many want to be held back from their capabilities simply because others around them are not 'up to their level'?

So, I learned early that I have to find schools that are not only WILLING to accept her special needs, but which will encourage and perpetuate her love of learning. This makes it a bit tougher than just finding a nice place to live with good school systems and moving in.

To date, I've given every penny to put Janan in private schools that not only "get" her, but that have other children just like her. Those kids who would rather read about their latest interest (Janan's gone from such diverse subjects as mermaids and fairies to the Salem witch trials and what number comes after a trillion?), spend an entire day at a Bat Festival (Janan LOVES bats!) or strap on their boots and collect bugs and water samples from the closest swamp). It's been so wonderful to not only see her continue loving school and making amazing friendships, but to also get to have a community of other moms (and the occasional dad) who "gets" what it means to have a gifted child.

Private schools are no longer an option, so we spent all last week visiting many of the Tucson charter schools. After visiting six, Janan was torn between two of the schools. The first school she liked because they truly allow the children to work at their pace. She can read at a high school level if she wants and no one would tell her, "No, we're going to read Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" because that's the book we read in 4th grade. The other she loved because they were very science focused. Science is what still lights Janan's fire and this school offered marine biology. But, like any school, both also had their down sides. The first that allowed her to work at her own pace, did so with many worksheets and tests. Because Janan's brain thinks faster than her hands can physically write, writing is very frustrating for her. So, worksheets are something she really doesn't like. The school with all the science offerings had less music and art. Despite science being her #1 favorite subject, #2 is art with music a close 3rd. She really does need a bit of everything.

Then, Saturday we visited the smallest school yet. They're renting space from a church and hoping to buy their own building in the next couple of years. But, what was immediately apparent was a true sense of community. A commitment to the children and how they learn. And, when we left there, Janan and I both knew this was the school. It won't be perfect. No school is, but Janan had a huge part in choosing the school and we both feel we'll have a part in the school.

School starts August 10th. We'll let you know how it goes from there!