The Best Laid Plans...

If I've learned anything over the past 16 years, it is to always expect plans to change and to have no expectations when it comes to how my teenager's life will look or be. 

• Most kids don't read at 2 or ask very pointed questions about conception after attending a baby shower.

• Most 3-year-olds don't forgo Disney Princesses and Dora the Explorer for Bill Nye the Science Guy and History Channel documentaries.

• Most 4-year-olds aren't obsessed with rocks, their strata and formation.  

• Most 5-year-olds don't choose Poison Dart Frogs for their school project about their favorite animal.

• Most 6-year-olds don't have to be dragged crying from an International Bat Festival after spending nearly 12 hours listening to presentations by world-renowned bat experts.

I could go year by year listing all the "normal/age appropriate" things she didn't do and all the things I've learned along the way because of her.  Having a gifted child means her brain functions differently, her senses function differently, and for these reasons (and many more) the best laid plans will always change. 

Since moving to Arizona, finding the right school has been a challenge.  We tried a Waldorf-based school, and a school ranked as one of the best by U.S. News & World Report and covered in a documentary.  We tried grade skipping and a 'regular' public high school.  Not only did none of these options go well, but by her sophomore year in high school, things had gone horribly, horribly wrong. 

I didn't want to share publicly at the time, because it's very scary and very personal.  It was a pivotal moment as a parent you KNOW is life or death for your child...and that's not being melodramatic.  The recommendation was for her to take a year off of school for treatment, but she refused. 

For kids like her, learning is life.  Even when the education system that didn't meet a single one of her needs was her only option, she didn't want to leave.  So, once again, we looked for options.  And, once again, she found it...an 'alternative school' that was a combination of online and classroom.  This school met for 4 hours a day, giving her time to get the treatment she needed.

In less than 4 months, she had completed all the classes for her junior year and was rapidly completing her senior year requirements.  Some classes took her less than a week to complete.  By Christmas, I was informed she was on track to graduate from high school by April of this year.   More than two years early.

Once again, here we were in a situation few find themselves.  Do you LET a 16 year old go to college?  Especially a very sick 16 year old?  She was still in treatment and I wasn't even sure she was healthy enough to go.  Specialists were consulted.  Janan & I had many long discussions about her options.  But, it always came back to one thing.  She WANTED to go to college.  In her words, "needed to go." 
 
Of course, most high school students begin applying for schools and scholarships the beginning of their junior year.  She was already more than half way through, so we were starting with the "late admits."  This meant fewer choices and less scholarship options.

Though many find it hard to believe, kids like Janan often suffer from what's called Imposter Syndrome.  A belief that they're not really smart, they just somehow keep getting lucky and, eventually, they'll be found out for the really stupid people they are.  This comes from the fact that they don't have to try very often.  Their abilities come so naturally, it's hard for them to believe it's anything unusual.  They don't realize others who even come close to them have to struggle to get there.

She found a few schools offering late enrollment and had the program she wanted, Astrophysics.  She applied to Northern Arizona University, University of Arizona, University of Hawaii at Manoa, and University of Hawaii at Hilo.  Interestingly, U of H at Manoa has one of the top non-Ivy League Astrophysics programs in the U.S!  All four schools accepted her with offers for entrance to their Honors College (despite having not applied for them, because she said, "They won't take me.  I am graduating from an alternative school and my grades aren't perfect.")  After the NAU Said YES! Day, she accepted their offer, got placement in the Astrophysics Residential Learning Community, and began making plans to start college in the fall.

Until she didn't.  Receiving acceptance letters from all four colleges really seemed to open her eyes.  She turned to me after receiving the fourth acceptance (U of H at Manoa) letter and said, "I really could go anywhere I wanted, couldn't I?  My counselor even said my ACT scores are high enough for the schools I really wanted to go to...like Bryn Mawr."   Now, I had told her this REPEATEDLY, but it took acceptance letters and a high school counselor to finally convince her.

So, with just one class left to finish she decided to pull back on her path to graduation, find another high school that would allow her to go back to AP/Honors classes (something her alternative school didn't offer), allow her to graduate from (in her words) from "a REAL high school," and give us a full senior year to apply to the Universities she truly wants to attend. 

As is her way, she found options, we visited them all, and she chose a small charter school.  Despite only needing one class to graduate, she's taking a full load and adding classes she's always wanted - like AP Bio, Trig/Calculus, Honors Spanish 5/6, and AP English Lit.  She's excited for all this means (class-wise, graduation-wise, scholarship-wise, etc.) and Mama's excited I get to keep her home one more year. 

It's not the path other high school students take, but it's the right path for her and I'll honor it all the way.