Damned If You Do....Damned If You Don't....

Somewhere in the world right now there's a Mom or Dad shouting, "BEING A PARENT IS SO HARD!"

Seriously, what other profession (what else ya gonna call it?) holds the life of another human being (or human beings) in their hands every minute of every day- their social, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being, all at once?

I've posted so much about the joys & challenges of being a parent. For me, that means being a single parent of a profoundly gifted teenage girl.  Every one of these aspects brings pros & cons, joys & sorrows, teachable moments and lessons to be learned (for both of us).

But, there is no parenting manual.  Kids don't come with instructions (dammit).  So you do the best you can with the information you have at the time. It's scary as hell and second guessing is probably the number one skill of any parent who cares at all.   

Every parent wants only the best for their child.  But what does that mean?  

How far do you push?  

            What if you push too far?  

                        What if you don't push far enough?  

                                  Is life only about academic success for the gifted child?

                                        Or, is their childhood just as (or more) important?

   What if your child is beginning to have physical manifestations of stress?

            Do you wait until an ulcer (or worse) is diagnosed before you back off?

                       Or, do you remove the stress and let them breathe for a bit?

                              Is that "copping out"?  

                                      Are you teaching your child to quit?

Should the child have a say in the decisions that directly impact their lives?

                              Does this help them make better choices in the future?

Or, does it mean you're being suckered into allowing them the easy way out?

Will your child resent you if you are constantly telling them how their life is going to go?

That YOU know best?

GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  

It's exhausting.  Not only are you asking yourself these questions nearly every minute of every day, but there are all those around you judging each and every answer you finally come up with.  

it's hard to think of any other situation where every move a person makes is scrutinized, judged and criticized (or praised) more often than when a parenting decision is made. Everyone has their opinions. Often those closest to you are the harshest critics.  

Since leaving Michigan, we have struggled with the school options here in Arizona.  Ranked 43 in the US for education means there is a LOT to be desired.  Tucson, alone, is looking at a $17 million education budget shortage and as many as 11 school closures this year in just the TUSD district.  Options are limited and dwindling fast.

Where do you turn with a child who taught herself to read at 2, but was turned away by 11 public schools before starting first grade because, "We cannot meet your daughter's academic needs."  In the past, private schools turned out to be our best option, but they are no longer financially feasible.  Arizona is a mecca of Charter Schools, which, theoretically, provide more options.  Truth be told, they are the same archaic educational models just re-packaged with "new & improved" labels stamped on the outside.  

So, for the first time, Janan is going to try public school.  She just keeps telling me she wants to be "a normal kid".  While I can never see her as anything less than extraordinary, how can I deny her the opportunity to learn from another life experience?  This may be the best or the worst decision we've ever made, but how will we know unless we make it?

One things for sure, we'll both learn something new about ourselves and life.  

Isn't that what it's really all about?