The Seven Circle of Hell....or Chase Bank

Now, let me give a bit of background here.  Just ten months before we were to be married, my (now ex) husband was transferred from Indianapolis (where we were living, separately, at the time) to Michigan for his job.  So, in addition to trying to plan a destination wedding in Arizona, we now had to figure out a way to purchase a home in Michigan while he was living and working in Michigan and I was living, working and raising a child in Indiana.  Andy (my ex) agreed he would look at possible homes after work and on certain weekends I would drive up and we’d look at the best possibilities together.   However, having found nothing with just about a month left before the wedding, we decided to quit looking, get an apartment and wait until after the wedding (when we would both be living in Michigan) to find our home.  Of course, just after making that decision our realtor called to say he had found THE house in THE neighborhood we wanted.  Turned out, he was right. 

In purchasing this home, Andy & I did everything “right” – purchased a home WELL within our price range, put down $20,000, and then invested almost another $40,000 in home renovations (the house needed MAJOR work when we purchased it & we did all the work ourselves – with the help of Andy’s best friend who happened to be a contractor).  When we did the home loan, my ex wanted to finance through the bank he was using prior to our marriage – Chase.  I am not a fan of the large banks and requested we “shop around” at the local credit unions and smaller banks, but he refused.  It was probably our first big “argument”. 

I didn’t care for our loan officer and became a bit suspicious when he said that he hadn’t seen anyone with credit as good as ours in a “long, long time”, so because of how good it was he could get Andy & I an even “better” deal if he split the mortgage on the house into two separate mortgages.  I had never heard of this being done before and questioned it, but my ex bought in right away to the thought of no points, lower interest and other "benefits" the loan officer was pedaling.  So, after another disagreement, we financed through Chase and purchased the home.

I really loved that house.  It was a ranch with a walk out basement and sat on the most gorgeous lot that backed up to woods and a wetland.  We saw fox, deer, snapping turtles, raccoons, squirrels and red-tailed hawks on a daily basis. 

Obviously, the marriage didn’t work out.  Being from Michigan, Andy planned to stay.  He loved the house as much as I did.  He had a ‘pit’ room in the basement designed just for his remote control cars he professionally raced (Yes, you can do that professionally) and, the house was just a few miles from his parents.  So, back to Chase we went to let them know we wanted to refinance the house to remove me from the loan. 

This was just after the housing market had crashed and the house (which had been valued at nearly $300,000 when we purchase in 2006) was determined to be worth no more than $125,000. 

Chase refused to refinance Andy or remove me from the loan.  We were told that if we would just “miss 3 payments” they might be able to help us but, in the last united front we had as a couple, we both adamantly refused.  We had NEVER missed or even been late on a payment and were not at risk of being so when we requested the refinance.  Therefore, it was decided we would have to sell the house. 

In a move I will NEVER understand, Chase agreed to accept a short sale on the house (for $125,000), but not refinance Andy for the just over $200,000 we owed.   Additionally, through the short sale, Chase agreed to not hold us liable for the difference of the loans (remember, they had split it in two when we purchased) and the house closed in March of 2010 with Chase Bank taking major losses.

Fast forward to 2012.  I’ve now been living in AZ for nearly three years and renting the house we live in for almost two.   My landlord is looking to get out of the “landlord” business and offered the option of selling me the house (interestingly enough, on a short sale).  Not sure if I had waited the requisite time after the Michigan short sale, I went to my credit union to see if it was even possible.  Very quickly, they came back and said it looked like it would be very easy to get me financed, but the underwriters just needed something from Chase showing that the second mortgage was cleared through the short sale and that we were not making payments to Chase.

Thinking this would be simple enough, I contacted our realtor who put me in touch with the title company who processed our short sale (unfortunately, since I was already living in AZ at the time of the sale, all the original sale paperwork went to my ex).  They were wonderful and sent me all the documentation (including copies of all the cancelled checks showing payoffs) via e-mail.  However, this wasn’t sufficient for the underwriter here in AZ, they wanted “official” documentation directly from Chase.

So, today, during a wonderfully unusual hour long lunch hour, I decided to call Chase and get this one last piece of needed documentation.  My hour went as follows:

·      12:35 pm - I call the Chase Mortgage customer assistance line (800.848.9136) and speak with "April" (in quotes, because I seriously doubt that's her given name).  Told her I'm attempting to purchase a home in AZ and need proof that there was no outstanding mortgage balance on the house my ex-husband & I sold (via short sale) as part of our divorce. 

“April” pulls up my account and tells me (in that god-awful scripted way now used in “customer service”) that she can provide me that documentation for the first mortgage, which should arrive in 7-10 business days, because despite this being the 21^st century her only options to get it to me are snail mail or fax.  (FAX?!?!?  Who the hell uses fax machines anymore?  Apparently, Chase Bank.).  But, she cannot provide documentation for the second mortgage because she  “doesn’t have access to that in her system”. 

To get the second mortgage documentation, she will have to forward me to the “Lien Release Department”.  “April” agrees to stay on the line with me while the transfer goes through and gives me their direct line in the event that something goes wrong with the transfer.

·      I’m transferred to the “Home Equity Department” at 800.836.5656 and speak with “Jessica” (again, the quotes, because that was so not her given name).  I have to go through the ENTIRE story again, verifying my social security number, the address of the house, date of the short sale, my current address, etc. and just as I’m finishing “Jessica” informs me that to get what I need she will need to transfer me to “Recovery”, because they handle that paperwork in the event of a short sale.

·      “Jessica” forwards me to Clarence in the Recovery Department at 877.836.3040.  As I’m telling Clarence the story again (Yes, Chase has NO way of moving your information forward so I’m forced, once again, to tell the entire story of what I need, confirm my social security number, address, date of short sale, current address, etc.), Clarence begins saying, “Are you on a cell phone?  Are you on a cell phone?” and then proceeds to hang up on me.  Now, I’m going to give Clarence the benefit of the doubt here, because it was more than obvious that the calls to Mortgage Customer Assistance & Home Equity were not based here in the US, but the call to Recovery was a US-based call center so his connection make have been bad (though everything sounded fine on my end and my cellular service was at full strength).

·      I called Recovery back immediately and spoke with Dave.   Tell the whole story AGAIN (social security number, address, short sale dates, etc.) and Dave informs me Recovery doesn’t handle second mortgages for short sales, he has to transfer me to “Loss Mitigation” at 800.848.9136.                                                                                    

·      Now, people, if you’re still reading this insanity 1) you really need to get a life & 2) you HAVE to give me credit for not throwing my cell phone from the car and just turning around and heading for the Mexico border because, seriously, the bureaucracy there can NOT suck any more than it does here!

·      During the transfer to “Loss Mitigation” the call is dropped and I’m forced to call back, tell my story AGAIN and hear the “Loss Mitigation” representative (whose name I could NOT understand) that she cannot help and will transfer me (without really asking) back to Home Mortgage.

·       Shantay at Home Mortgage – 800.848.9136 gets my transfer, (if you’re paying attention, yes, we are now back to “square one”) hears my story again and proceeds to tell me she cannot see my account on her system and would transfer me to Home Equity (800.836.5656 – yes, square two). 

·      I finally lost it.  Now, if you know me well, you know I’m not a screamer, yeller or nasty person.  I’ve worked customer service most of my life and I understand (thought don’t agree with) the limitations many of these folks have to deal with.  However, there is NO EXCUSE for this horrific “service”.  I am simply asking for ONE piece of documentation showing I do not owe Chase Bank any money.  THAT’S IT! 

·      We did discover she had heard my social incorrectly and after the correction she WAS able to pull up my account (and, finally, give me the account number so I could quit repeating my social security number over cell lines) but, once again, said Home Mortgage could not provide me what I needed and insisted I would have to speak with Home Equity.

·      I’m transferred to Paolo in Home Equity (877.836.3040).  I believe we’re now at call/transfer #7….tell story, give account number, address of home, first born child, and verbally sign contract with the devil…only to be informed by Paolo, I must speak with a NEW department called “Charge Off”. 

·      Before the transfer she gives me the number for “Charge Off” (877.836.3040).  Yep, THAT’S THE NUMBER FOR RECOVERY!  It is now 1:36 p.m.  I have to be back in the classroom by 1:45.

·      Natasha answers the call in Recovery this time.  My frustration is showing in my voice as I, once again, tell my story, give my account number, address for the house, yada, yada, yada.  But, rather than trying to be sympathetic or helpful, Natasha gets nasty with me.  Tells me there is NOTHING Recovery can do for me and says she will transfer me back to Mortgage Customer Service.  I refuse.  Tell her AGAIN how many transfers I have gone through and that sending me back (AGAIN) to where I started is not the answer.  She gives me the number for the “Short Sale Department” but doesn’t transfer me because I now have to go back to work.

·      I finish work, get back in my car for the hour drive home and, with a deep breath, dial the number for the Short Sale Department (866.374. 6372).  Pat answers the phone, hears my story, gets the account number, address of the house, date of short sale and promptly lets me know her department “Only has current short sale paperwork” and that she’ll need to forward me to the “Lien Release” department.

·      I ask for a Manager.

·      Robert Ebersole, Short Sale Manager, takes my call.  I go through the whole story including all transfers and names of people I’ve spoken to and BEG this man to help me.  His manager status and, I would later learn, previous jobs at Chase, apparently give him access to systems no one else has.  He does start by reiterating what Pat told me (the short sale department only handles paperwork from the last 24 months), but does state (he’s the first) that he understands my frustration and will do what he can to get me to “the right department”.  After accessing about three systems he then tells me that he doesn’t even SHOW a second mortgage on the house!  I start from the beginning telling him about the original sale, the two mortgages, that the second IS showing on my credit AND in the short sale paperwork.  He checks another two to three systems and finally says, “Oh, here it is.  It’s been inactive since 2010, so it’s no longer in our system.”  He gives me more account numbers and informs me I need to speak with…..

Wait for it….

Can you guess? 

Recovery.

·      I REALLY need to start drinking heavily.

·      I’m forwarded (for, what is it now, the FOURTH TIME?) to Recovery.  Darius answers the phone.  For the first time, I hear a voice of TRUE customer service on the line.  He instantly hears the defeat in my voice and tells me he is known as “The Buck Stops Here Darius” and that even if he’s not the one who can help me, he’ll take it all from here and get me what I need.  Darius even gives me his direct extension.

·      I cry. 

·      And, offer him sexual favors.

·      After telling my whole story again, Darius informs me he has just completed another request IDENTICAL to mine, knows just what needs to be done and will make it happen!  All he needs to do is put me on hold for a couple of minutes and this nightmare will end.

·      This is the very moment my cellular service drops the call. 

No, I’m not kidding.

·      But, I don’t panic.  I mean, I have Darius’ extension! 

·      Dial the number, enter the extension….

·      Keesha answers the phone.  I just tell Keesha I’ve been speaking with Darius and apparently dialed the wrong extension, but can she connect me?  I give the extension and she informs me she doesn’t show that extension in her department but, yes, she is in Recovery.  Oh, well, didn’t I know, there are other “Recovery” call centers.  Maybe Darius is at the Texas call center. 

·      I ask to be forwarded to a manager at that call center, so I can be connected with Darius.

·      Keesha informs me she can’t do that, but promises to help if I’ll just tell her what I need.

·      Any hope of assistance is now lost.  I’m contemplating driving my car into a Saguaro. 

·      After reiterating the entire story, having Keesha inform me I have to speak with the Short Sale Department and telling her I FLAT REFUSE to be transferred again, she places me on hold for nearly 10 minutes to “read the whole file”.  Keesha comes back and says the “best she can do” is give me the name and phone number of the “original closer on the file who did the short sale”, Karen.  Keesha also says that Karen no longer does short sales, but is still with Chase and that she’ll transfer me. 

·      The transfer leads to the 3 tones informing me “this number cannot be dialed from your area”.

·      I hang up.  Dial the number myself and I DO get a voicemail for someone named Karen. 

I leave a message.  From which, I know I’ll never get a response.