Gifted - Movie Review

This afternoon Janan & I went to see the movie Gifted.  When I saw the trailer a few months ago, I actually thought, "Ugh, THAT I will NEVER go see."  But, the reviews from within the community (the ones that matter to me) have been overwhelmingly positive (which was shocking to me, because this community doesn't mince words when you misrepresent our children or what it's like to raise them.)

So, here are my two cents...for what they're worth.

        ***WARNING!!!!  SPOILER ALERTS!***

CONS

1.  She a math prodigy.  SERIOUSLY????  If we're going to do away with the stereotypes of "giftedness," we HAVE to get away from "math prodigy.  Especially, a 7-year-old math prodigy who can solve MIT-level math.  Just as all who wander are not lost, all who are gifted aren't math prodigies.
2. There HAD to be a love story.  As a single parent of a gifted child, I can say the reality is that it REPELS people, it doesn't attract them.  Plus, the love story came across a bit forced and just seemed so cliche.  
3. Not enough Octavia Spencer - the reality of having a gifted child is that it DOES attract some amazing people into both your and your child's life who you would never expect.  Those along the path who LOVE your child for who they are, not because of WHAT they are.  And, THOSE people often provide your child more than you or any school ever could.
4. The legal battle - again, cliche and, at times, seemingly there only to lead to the climax.  OK, I get it, it's a movie and even people who don't have gifted children may want to see it (though, by the audience size, I'm not sure that's exactly happening), but it a) didn't help and b) seemed even more implausible than a 7-year-old MIT math prodigy.

PROS

1. McKenna Grace - the little girl who played Mary in the movie was incredible.  Per Janan, she was "totally relatable."  Throughout the movie, I kept hearing Janan say, "Me." "Same." "I feel ya, kid."  I'd say that's high praise.
2. The Uncle and the The Grandmother - though not necessarily from the actor or character perspective, but because, for me, they truly did represent the two conflicting sides of parenting a gifted child that often go on in my mind (and, from conversations I've had, the minds of many other parents of gifted children).  Do you "let them be a kid" or do you send your 12-year-old (oops, sorry) 7-year-old to college?  Will you damage them if you do or damage them if you don't?  What's pushing vs. meeting their needs?  Do academic needs (and the potential "gifts" they could bring society) outweigh the child's social and emotional needs?  Or, does NOT allowing them to pursue their academic needs damage them socially and emotionally?  Per Janan, "If the Uncle had just accepted the $30,000 scholarship to the gifted school, everything would have been perfect.  My best friends came from Roeper, and we didn't think we were weird or different."  
3. (Stick with me to the end on this one) - The suicide of the mother - though I don't think the movie FULLY explored this very important aspect of giftedness (and, to their credit, I don't think they could, because that would be a whole other movie), it still at least showed that there's a dark side. It gave a glimpse into the enormity of the damage that can happen from only focusing on one aspect - the giftedness - of a child.  
4. The way they handled the fact that the birth father didn't want to see Mary. I think both Janan and I cried the hardest at this point.  Of course, we have the additional "adoption" piece added to our story, so this touched a few additional nerves.

All in all, I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it.  I don't think I could.  No movie could do justice to the joys, challenges, highs, lows, excitement, and sheer terror of raising a gifted child, especially a profoundly gifted child.  It would be like trying to teach an average person Mandarin in 1 hour and 41 minutes.  Impossible.   

If you're looking for a feel-good movie, go see it.  If you want to learn more about raising a gifted child, sit down with a parent of one and listen...TRULY listen.