Feliz Dia de la Madre

The first time she was in my arms

On Sunday, many here in the US will honor Mother's Day, but today is Dia de la Madre in Guatemala.

This day for me, always reminds me that Mother's Day holds a different meaning for every woman - celebration, heartbreak, reflection, joy or pain. I think it's important to remember this. I'm always amazed when I'm out without Janan on Mother's Day and just because I'm a woman bank clerks, check out people and strangers smile and say, "Happy Mother's Day!"

So, please remember....

• For some, Mother's Day is a sad and painful reminder that their bodies, for whatever reason, cannot conceive or carry a child meaning they may never be called "Mother"; while, for others, it is a joyful time to remember the conception, birth and blessing of a child or children and the honor of being called Mother/Mom/Mama/Madre/Ama, etc. each and every day.

• That some made the conscious choice to NOT be a mother, for her own reasons, and that choice should be honored as well. Because, despite what our society may try to tell us, to be a complete woman does not mean having to be a mother.

• For some, Mother's Day is a reminder of how hard we worked to become mothers - going through home studies, finger printing, gathering references, and paying thousands of dollars to have paperwork notarized, authorized and then authenticated in addition to the agency, attorney and travel costs, only to hear at times that we're not the "real" Mothers; while, for another woman, called "Birth Mother", it's a reminder of the day she made the difficult choice to release her child with the hope for a better life for that precious soul she carried, nurtured and loved for nine months. 

• For some, Mother's Day is a reflection on the mothering we "fostered" to other's children in times of crisis so those children and, hopefully, their families could heal. Or, during a waiting period when legal paperwork, documentation and travel meant we mothered until another could arrive and knowing you may never get to see, hold or know the well-being of that child ever again.

• For some, Mother's Day means remembering children no longer in our arms because of "family reintegration", adoption, kidnapping or death; while others remember Mothers they've lost either too soon or at the end of a long & wonderful life.

Please, make this a day to honor ALL Mothers, because whatever adjective you add in front "birth", "foster", "grand", "adoptive" - we are MOTHERS who have loved in a way that brings more joy and sorrow than any other kind of love.

For me, it's a reminder:

• that I have two other daughters in the world who were only in my life briefly, but who touched my heart forever and who I still worry and wonder about almost daily

• that an amazing woman named Santos made the decision to place her daughter for adoption in the hopes of a better life for her. There's not a day goes by that I don't thank her for every joy, trial, blessing, frustration and all the love that being a Mother to the child she brought into this world has given me.

• that another incredible woman, Lillian, nurtured, loved and cared for my

  

  Me, Janan & Mama Lillian

  daughter as her own for 5 months until all the legalities and paperwork could be completed.

• that my becoming a Mother will forever be linked to the beautiful country of Guatemala & two other Mothers who loved in a way few will ever understand.

• that I'm blessed to have a Mother who I can talk to daily and share in the joy and challenges of being a Mom.

"Mother" has as many meanings as there are women on this planet. Let's honor them all.