Perception

Mom and I were out shopping together this week and ended up discussing my complete lack of memory for my childhood.  I truly don't recall much.  We're pretty sure it has to do with my hypoglycemia (I had a severe form in childhood called Ketotic Hypoglycemia that required me to eat every hour, but even with that strict schedule I spent my of my childhood in the hospital hooked to glucose IVs.  But, more importantly, it meant I walked through much of my childhood in a barely conscious state).


It does make for many strange conversations.  Mom will bring up something (as she had this day) that, for her, seemed SO big.  "Don't you remember when....?  How could you forget THAT?!"  


As we talked, I mentioned how it was like a conversation I had not too long ago with a college ex.  It was the whole "Why did we ever break up?" conversation I know many of us have had in our lives.  He was pointing out all of the great things about our relationship and I was saying, "But, what I remember most is that you were ALWAYS late (or never showed) for our dates and our personal/religious beliefs were SO different we had our biggest fight over aliens!  (No, not the human kind that enter a country illegally, but the little green men kind.  I was adamant that with the vastness of the Universe we could not be the only living creatures and he was just as adamant that the Bible was VERY clear there weren't.)  He and I both got a laugh out of how differently we perceived our relationship!  


After that conversation I had an epiphany.  For EVERY contact in my life I hold a belief or perception on what just happened and that situation holds either major importance or is forgotten before the end of the day.  Then, as I look at that situation and step away from just my personal space I "see" there are others having "the same experience" but their perception of this situation can be SO different!  It made me go back through all of my relationships - those I saw as "serious" and those I saw as "casual" -  and re-evaluate my perceptions.  Had the other person believed this relationship was as important as I?  Had the success or failure of that relationship colored their life in the same way it had mine?  My even bigger epiphany at that moment?  If they didn't perceive the relationship/situation as so important and life changing, then it does no good to "blame" or "hold a grudge".    


We hear it all the time - Perception is Reality.  But, as I examine that point it actually leads to a very surreal feeling.  If my perception is my reality, is there really A reality?   If perception is reality, then we're all living COMPLETELY different, yet simultaneous, realities!  

And, yes, for me these epiphanies once again reaffirmed my belief that ALL paths lead to the top of the mountain!  We're here to learn and grow, but we won't truly evolve until we take ourselves out of the "center" of this experience we're living and see we are just ONE strand of the web.  Our strand is no more or less vital than any other.  It's the interconnections, the overlap that creates the strength.  


Spiderwebs have the most gossamer appearance, but are stronger than steel.  I believe that's a perfect correlation to our lives - they are goassamer-like, fragile and easily lost in this reality.  But, if this reality is only a perception, for me, it follows that our TRUE reality/form is not fragile, it's eternal.