Everyone believes they'll better understand the world and how it works as they get older. But, the opposite seems to be true for me. The older I get, the less things make sense.
The important things - my daughter and my family and the things I REALLY want to focus on - nurturing my daughter and her education, growing our own food, helping care for my parents, does nothing but continually take a backseat to working a job that doesn't cover the bills, requires me to work crazy hours, travel all over the state (more than doubling the milage on my car in just over 3 months) and work weekends.
We live in a society that does nothing but give mixed message about how important our families and children are, but doesn't honor that message in any way.
If I quit my job, moved back in with my parents to help care for my Mom and make my Dad's life easier and chose to homeschool Janan, more people than not would look upon me negatively. It would impact my credit rating, I'd have no medical insurance for myself or Janan, and my ability to get work when I did decide to get back into the workforce would be seriously challenged.
So, how do I balance what I know in my heart is important with what society says I have to do to be a "productive member of society"?
I wish I knew.
i think, dear friend, that you should do what your heart tells you to do. i don't think that our world, as we've known it...as we've grown in it...will exist for much longer. already so much change that is not all for the better. i don't think that anything is "standard" any more, and quite honestly, if there is someone who doesn't care for how you're living your life, EFF 'EM!
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