One Drop of Water

Funny how it's been so long since my last posting, but what drew me back to my blog tonight was another realization/belief that there must be a reason for everything...just like my previous posting.

These moments of clarity have been coming in 'strange' ways. Though for years I meditated regularly, I never had one of those enlightened, transcendent moments so many talk about. Why, then, all of a sudden, are they coming at me on almost a daily basis?

Years ago, I had an epiphany (similar to the one's I've been having lately) that came when I was trying to figure out exactly what happens after we die. I was reading a book called 20 Cases Suggestive of Reincarnation by Ian Stevenson and out of nowhere the vision of an individual drop of rain landing in the ocean came to me. What I 'knew' in that instant was that the drop believed itself to be separate and individual and feared going into the ocean (dying), but once it hit the ocean the drop (though no longer individual) was still there, just a part of the whole. Then, after awhile as a part of the ocean, the raindrop evaporated back out of the ocean, condensed and - once again - became a raindrop. In one way, simply a vision of the water cycle, but in that moment, for me, it was SO much more.

Now, in moments like watching our two new kittens play, explore and sleep, I see the beauty of life.

In the fear of losing those I love, I see the beauty of life.

In the joy of my daughter's face at Christmas, I see the beauty of life.

And, in the fear of having to find another job, of not being able to pay the rent...of, once again, having to start over...I see the beauty of life.

Life isn't about cars or apartments or owning a home. It isn't even about the societal dictates of marriage, monogamy and being able to stand alone by a certain age.

Life is about becoming a part of the whole. Joining together. Accepting the cycle and, in that acceptance, enjoying the ride.