12

You know those moments in your life when you realize that what's happening RIGHT THEN will change your life forever? 


Mine was in 1999, I had just lost my second foster daughter when my work phone rang.  It was the General Manager of one of the Saturn facilities I worked with.  He was in town and wondered if I wanted to meet for dinner after his training session.  Despite my broken heart and what I was sure would be my inability to carry on a conversation without bursting into tears every 20 seconds, Jorge insisted I meet him for Thai food.  


At dinner, he listened to the whole story.  This baby girl had come to me at 7 months after her father had a heart attack.  He weighed nearly 700 pounds and had to be transported to the hospital in a military helicopter because no medical helicopter or ambulance could handle his weight.  Both he and the baby's mother were also severely developmentally disabled.  I would learn later, Dad had the mental capacity of a 5-year-old and Mom, the capacity of a 7-year-old.  Following Dad's heart attack, the baby's mother had a mental breakdown and was committed to a mental hospital.


Within weeks, the parent's rights were terminated and I was told I could adopt her.  A few days later, my case worker called and said, "Don't panic, but a great-uncle has stepped forward and wants custody.  I'm heading there now to do his home study.  I'll let you know what happens, but from what I hear he won't qualify as a placement."  An hour later my phone rang again and the case worker said, "His apartment was so filthy I couldn't enter!  Keep doing what you're doing. This man will never get her."  Yet, despite his filthy apartment, being morbidly obese himself (over 500 pounds), unemployed and on full disability, single and never having had children the court did grant him custody and, ultimately, adoption rights.


Jorge listened and then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Why don't you just adopt?"  Jorge and his wife, Mary, had two adopted children.  One son they had adopted internationally from Cuba (where Jorge was born) and the other son had been domestically adopted from the US.  In addition to many other physical disabilities, this baby boy was blind, deaf and mute.  Jorge and Mary are the kind of people you look at with awe and think, "What AMAZING people!"  


I didn't think I had the strength they did, so I said, "Jorge, I'm not ready to be a single mom."  That made him laugh.  Hysterically.  "Uh, Valerie, he said, you've BEEN a single mom for over two years now. But, have had to share your children with abusive birth parents, case workers, case managers, physical therapists, court appointed advocates and all other kinds of people you will (God willing) NEVER interact with if you adopt your own child.  Just consider it."


That one conversation in a Thai restaurant in Nashville, TN would end up taking me over 2,000 miles to Guatemala City less than a year later where the most perfect baby girl I had ever seen would be placed in my arms.


Today that baby turns twelve.  I'm not sure where the time's gone.  Nor am I sure why anyone thought it a good idea to place the life of such a small, fragile, amazing soul in my care.  I have days I'm convinced I've damaged her beyond repair with my less than stellar parenting abilities followed by days I stand in awe of all she is.

What I am sure of is that my life wasn't complete until the moment she was placed in my arms; and that, forever, I will owe the greatest love of my life to a man who dared me to believe it was possible.


Thank you, Jorge.  Wherever you are now. You and Mary are angels. 


Thank you, Mama Santos, Janan's birth mother, for loving our daughter enough to nourish and nurture her for nine months so unselfishly.


Thank you, Mama Lillian, Janan's foster mother in Guatemala, for being there when it was time for Santos to let go; and loving our daughter as your own - knowing all the while you would never get to see her grow up.

Mama, Janan & Mama Lillian

I will always honor Janan's other two mothers who entrusted this amazing child to my care.

Mama, Sandi & Janan - Citizenship Celebration

Thank you, Sandi, the Heaven Sent angel, whose higher purpose on this planet was to bring families together.


And, to all the other angels...my parents, family, friends, co-workers, interpreters, airline pilots, other GuateMamas who share in this amazing journey with me and can understand it because you've lived it, and so many more (some of who I'm sure I've never even laid eyes on), who made my Motherhood dream come true.


Happy birthday, Boo. May you ALWAYS feel the love of every single angel who made you the greatest gift of my life.