Lately, I've really been struggling with the "Poor-me-I-have-no-job-a-failed-marriage-and-have-to-live-with-my-parents" pity party. I'll admit, it's neither pretty nor festive, but I've gone all out with snot-filled, tissue confetti in both blue and white (which, by the way matches the curtains and bedspread in my room, thankyouverymuch). But today, I got smacked upside the head by the Universe. Again, neither pretty nor festive, but much needed.
It happened while Janan and I were visiting another school. This is the school Janan's been waiting all week to see. It's called the Academy of Math & Science and she found a section on their website that showed pictures of their recent Marine Biology class field trip to California for exploration of tidal pools and other 'way cool' places (well, if you're a nine-year-old who thinks there's NOTHING cooler than science, especially when that science includes animals and water), which put this school high on her list. Though this school is very highly ranked and offers great programs, it's in a 'tough' part of town and completely surrounded by a large metal fence.
This is the fifth school we've visited and at each I've had to fill out enrollment packets so they would hold a place for her until we could make a final decision. There were 3 forms in all the packets I had never seen before. The first, is a form that asks three questions; 1) "What is the first language the student learned?", 2) What language does student speak most often?" and 3) What language is spoken most often in the home?" The second form asks you to list the number of people in the home vs. your current income. This form starts as low as $12,000/year or less with 1 person in the home and increases in very small increments from there with more than 10 in the home. I had to ask about this one the first time I completed it and it is so the state can make sure all families in need of special services are identified. The final form asks about your 'Homelessness Status'.
Being so close to Mexico, Tucson has a large population of immigrants who either don't speak English or speak it as a second language (ESL), who have many family members living together at or below poverty levels or who are completely homeless. Which is why these forms are necessary. Until today, I had simply written "English" in all three blanks of the first form and marked 'not applicable' on the other two and gone on.
But today, I guess the Universe was done with my pity party and brought in a family to show me first hand why these forms are so important and why I need to see that my life is beyond blessed. This beautiful family consisted of a mother who looked to be about my age (probably a bit younger) with 2 boys (one about Janan's age and the other around 5 or 6). The mother spoke English pretty well, but the boys didn't speak English at all. I overheard her telling the school representative that she was looking for a school for her oldest son, this was his first American school and that they currently didn't have a phone or address she could put on the forms. The school representative took it so well, I could tell this is something she hears quite regularly. She told the mom that her son would be evaluated to see if the school would work for him and that she could provide information on services available for them.
When I looked at these boys I just wanted to take them in my arms and offer them even just half of what I have or more. It would be far above what they have probably ever had and still leave me with so much more than I truly need.
It breaks my heart that things are so unequal in our world. I have to send up a thank-you for the slap upside my head (and kick directly to my heart) and add a prayer that this family (and others like them) have some place cool and safe to spend the night.
I wish the same for us all.
